Grocery shopping
by loha
Summary: Ronan takes his five year old daughter grocery shopping. And has the WIERDEST day ever. R and R. Pretty please


Ronan came whistling into the grocery store. Carmela was pregnate with their second and he couldn't be happier. Now he was off with his five year old daughter to get some, well he would have to look at the list

rainbow sherbert

saltine crackers

gummy bears

milk

hammer( he didn't even want to know what that was for)

chicken breasts

carrots

squash

10 pounds of chili pepper

11 chicken eggs

and a dozen slimjims

First to the freezer isle. His dear little Michelle was learning Spanish. She would probably love pointing out the Spanish names for stuff. Oh how right he was.

"Hey baby, what flavor is this?" asked Ronan as he pointed to the chocolate ice cream.

"Chocolate!" said the triumphant little girl with an adorable Spanish accent.

"Good job sweetie! What is this kind of ice cream called?" asked Ronan pointing to the strawberry ice cream.

"Daddy! Daddy! Look at that feo lady over there! She's gordo huh!" said a little voice accompanying the tugged pantleg.

"What does that mean?" asked Ronan, he only knew how to say foods, beautiful, and delicious in spanish. He didn't recognize these words.

"That means she's ugly and fat daddy!" Michelle yelled. She had decided that her daddy was slow and deaf a long time ago.

Unfortunately the woman heard. And Ronan realized that his daughter was right She was VERY fat and VERY ugly. He gulped, and angry.

'What did your daughter call me?" she asked in a dangerously low tone. Ronan had faced giant bugs, Balor, and the Lone Power countless times. But he was never as scared as he was now.

"She called you slender and beautiful Ms." He stuttered. So what if the universe ended a little early!

"Na uh daddy I called her fat and ugly! In Spanish and English!" If only Ronan could share in his daughter's pride.

"Oh really?"the lady asked, one eyebrow cocked and looking like an elephant about to go on rampage.

"Yup." Said Michelle, with childllike innocence at what was gonna happen to her dad, "My Daddy told me to always tell the truth."

"Did he now? Why don't you go to the cereal isle little girl. I saw a very handsome young man there, about your age I believe."she said sweetly.

"Really!" asked Michelle (Like Mother like daughter I guess.)

"Yeah."the lady replied.

"Thank you! Daddy have fun with the nice lady!" And she waltzed off to meet the"handome young man".

Ronan couldn't believe it. His own daughter, his little angel, his own flesh and blood, had just left him with a monster, for a boy! He didn't think that would happen until she was at least 13. Maybe 18, preferabley 39.

"You've been teaching your daughter to tell the truth! I can not believe you! Do you not know the truth hurts people's feelings!." Her eyes were flaming and her hair was as red as the devil's fire. And her stubby nails became claws of fury! Ronan thought he was done for when…

"Really Loner? I had no idea a boy could do such a thing! They all seem soooo stupid. And they never seem to grow out of it. Even my dad never grew out of it. So how did you get to be the ruler of an entire planet of bugs?" Michelle had been flirting nonstop with him and vise versa for the last 5 minutes.

"I shall my seniorita," he kneeled down " If you consent to being my Seniora and…"

He was cut off by an angry voice that sounded like it would either burst into tears or rip off his head in a second. "What!" came a shreik right next to him, "Loner! Is that you in a five year olds body!"

"Sa-Samantha. Wh- What an unexpected…. P-p-pleasant surprise."he managed to stutter.

Ronan was beyond confused at that moment. Was that the Lone power? Stuttering? Hey wait a sec, did he just propose to his little girl?

"Pleasant surprise my ass! Sweet heart please cover your ears." Michelle did so , "You were cheating on me! With a five year old girl! What does she have that I don't? Never mind! don't answer that! You are a low down scum bag you stupid Power!"

"Sammykins. Please I can explain."

"Hold on! Wait a sec!" Michelle marched up to the disguised lone power and demanded, "Is she your girlfriend !"

"W-well if you want to get technical about it.' He was stopped when she smacked across his face, leaving a deep red mark on his cheeeks.

"Come on Daddy! We, are going to the cracker aisle!" She marcheed away, nose in the air, dragging her poor confused father with her. "And we are not coming back!"

After they bought their groceries and drove home, theyb met Carmela at the front door "Give me my gummy bears!" said Carmela. Ronan's blood ran cold. He had forgotten the gummie bears!

Carmela was already looking rumaging through the bags. She brought up her head and asked the most important question of all.

"Ronan. Where are my gummie bears?"

Ronan had to think of something quick if he wanted to come out alive. "I thought you said you wanted to go back to your teenage figure after this pregancy. N-n-not like last time."

"Are you saying I'm fat!"she yelled, her pregnate temper was becoming really obvious, a really, REALLY angry wife was standing in front of him. She reminded him a very angry bull, gulp, with noastrils smoking… and pawing the ground.

Carmela woke him from his daymare by demanding "Well!"

"I-I thought that you weren't thinking right wh-wh-when you put it on the list."

"Are you saying I'm an airhead Mr. Nolan! After all…"

Ronan had the dignity to look ashamed while Carmela kept ranting. He was trying to make sence out of everyhting that had happened that day. But one thing stood out in his mind

If his little "Angel" was like this at five, what be going on at thirteen?


End file.
